January February Blog Entry

Saturday, February 25, 2012

My last blog entry was overly optimistic. The last two months I’ve been feeling quite the opposite. Since I’ve been back I fell into a huge rut and have really struggled trying to get out. The first half of my experience was so exciting because everything was new. Now it’s not. The little things that use to not bug me, now drive me absolutely crazy. Such things would include…

·         The mouse (mice) in my apartment that pooped all over my clothes, chewed on my textbooks, and again unwantingly joined me in the bathroom

·         The spiders that have built massive webs in my bedroom

·         The huge bee hive on our porch

·         The ants that devour any spec of food left out on the counter or sink

·         The dog fights that happen in the middle of the night right outside my window and then listening to the sounds of the dying dog that lost the fight

·         The rain that is so loud that you have yell when teaching or take a pill to sleep through it

·         The racist dogs that attack white people (like the 5 on my birthday)

·         My classroom falling apart: AC broken, outlets don’t work, computers don’t work, got a printer but outlets don’t work to plug in printer, and no toner and paper available if printer were to work

·         Sitting on the bus in your own seat and then having the biggest Samoan accidently sit on top of you, popping your personal bubble, pinching your skin, and then proceeding to step on your foot

·         Getting a sun burn that makes you look like a lobster, getting sun/heat stroke, and then having your body peel for a week afterwards

·         Getting soaked to the bone because you got caught in the rain

·         Staff meetings that last forever and nothing gets accomplished

·         Not having access to a bathroom at school when you have the stomach flu

·         Making the mile long walk to and from school and being drenched in sweat before the school day begins

·         A computer virus

·         Taking a shower and begin sweating before you even get out

·         Not being able to take a personal day for personal day reasons

·         Being accused for something you didn’t do because of a rumor that was heard through coconut wireless

·         When the internet at school doesn’t work

·         Losing your ATM card and not being able to access your money for a month

·         Students peeing on and/or trying to kick down on my classroom door or putting dog poop in front of it

·         Having two sties, the stomach flu, 15 boils on my backside, mosquito bites on my face, and a head cold

·         Having some of your friends and family think your life is a piece of cake because you live on a tropical island and get to go the beach every day. (SO FALSE!! I get to a beach maybe once every two week and tropical islands are just dirty!)

·         There is no such thing as tap beer, strictly canned and bottled and it’s not cheap

·         Creepy Samoan men with long finger nails staring at you because you are white

·         Having your clothes stink because no matter how many times you wash  them in hot water they will never smell good (and having your things mold and/or rust)

·         Sharing a mini refrigerator with two other people and then having to repeatedly thaw it out because the accumulated chunks of ice get so big you can’t put anything in it

·         Reading news articles about how the inmates in the prison here brew their own beer

·         Having to permanently sub for the most horrible students in the world that flip you off, talk shit about you in Samoan and then lie about it, swear at you in Samoan and then lie about it, draw in permanent maker all over your desks, steal stuff out of your desk, take apart the mouse to the computers that don’t work, rip posters off your walls and tear them apart, put gum all over the floor, and stink up your classroom because they don’t know what a shower is.  O how I love glorified babysitting!

I think that sums it up. I can count the number of times I’ve cried here on one hand. The last time it was over a printer; A PRINTER!  Looking back it seems really stupid and petty, but at the end of a long, hot day all those little things really add up. The principal at school often reminds me to not sweat the small things. That is by far easier said than done because most times you are already sweating and the small things appear to be really big. Some days I have to force myself to get out of bed in the mornings, like yesterday. And you find yourself repeatedly asking this question, “Why the hell am I here?”  

I have discovered that my outlet is laughter. Even though it isn’t funny when these happen at that moment, in hindsight it is; although I’ve never laughed about the damn dogs or mice, because it’s not funny and it never will be. But the other things you can find humor in and then realize that there are worse things that can happen.

I also realize that I would have never had these experiences had I not made the decision to move here for a year. Yes I hate my life sometimes, but when I leave this island in June (Sunday, June 3^rd at 11 pm to be exact) I will leave a much stronger person because of these awful things. I will leave thanking those rotten students, those unwanted four legged roommates, those swollen boils on my body, and always being sweaty and dirty. If I can deal with living on this tiny, isolated island in the middle of Pacific Ocean on the equator, I feel like I can do anything. I am a much more confident person and my perspective on life has changed. I am a lot more open minded and accepting than I have ever been. I know I have mentioned this before in my other entries, but I really have learned to live more simply and it’s great. I don’t need to be high maintenance like I was before because it’s not important. Beauty really does come from in the inside (coming from someone who hasn’t showered in a while and is wearing really dirty clothes).

Alright, enough of the serious! I was chatting with one of my cheeky, male senior students the other morning, who thoroughly enjoys smoking pot, cigarettes, and drinking as extracurricular activities. He told me that he thought his senior year was going by fast despite the fact he hates school. I asked him to explain and he answered that he lives for the weekends. That I can relate to. Here is what we’ve been up to that makes the weekdays not so miserable:

·         Climbing Mt Alava (well, wasn’t exactly fun but I’m glad I did it)

·         Swimming in the tide pools

·         Going on a death hike to find Palagi Beach (Palagi means “white” as in white person. This beach got its name because only white are stupid enough go on an hour and a half hike on this 4 inch wide trail on a cliff to get to this beach.)

·         Visiting some of our volunteers on Tau (a beautiful, outer island) for a weekend- too bad the plane didn’t break down and we could have stayed longer

·         Going to a West Side beach for our friend’s birthday

·         Finally booking my flight home

·         Looking into jobs and getting a few interviews

·         Finding a happy hour place that we’re making an every Friday thing

·         Looking forward to spring break when my cousin comes and we can leave this island for a couple days- thank goodness its only 2 weeks away

·         Creating lifetime friendships with other volunteers and my students

·         Students tell you jokes and serenate you because they know you hate life and are trying to make you smile

·         Students bake you a birthday cake and then sing you happy birthday in Samoan then English

·         Have students teach you about their culture

·         Having a student ask you to prom (which is totally acceptable here, weird I know)

·         Knowing your students love it when you go to their football, softball, and basketball game and choir event

·         Your students harmonize to Justin Beiber

·         Your students tell you that your class is their favorite even though you think they may be lying

·         Students come to ask for your advice 

              (Below are the pictures!)

It’s these moments with my students and marveling at the beauty of my island that make up for the not so great ones.

This next week at school is review, the week after is midterms, then spring break. Knowing that I will get a week off is something that keeps me going. I’m really excited to see Suzanne and have the opportunity to show her around here and the other Samoa.  I just booked our flights today and I’m so pumped!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Until next time! Tofa!